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Puke the Pirate is an arcade-style platformer game aimed for young children, as indicated by its simplistic level design and abundance of toilet humor.


This game was originally hosted on the preschool gaming website Funschool Kaboose, which went offline years ago because the company running it went out of business. However, a mostly functional version of the game can be found here:


Aspiring treasure hunter Puke the Pirate has discovered part of a treasure map that once belonged to the legendary pirate Blackbarf. As such, he has decided to go on a quest to recover the rest of the map and find Blackbarf's treasure.

Unfortunately, the game never discloses what the treasure actually is, because once the game is completed it simply cuts to a screen showing Puke jumping happily on the outskirts of the island along with some text congratulating the player.


Puke the Pirate's gameplay is about as simple as your average arcade platformer; in fact, it is somewhat similar to the gameplay style of Super Mario Bros. The goal is to navigate the level, avoid the hazards, defeat the enemies, and try to make it to the end without getting hurt or dying. If the player gets hit by an enemy or a hazard, they lose a life. However, they can regain lives by collecting coins that are scattered around the levels (50 coins = 1 life), or 1-Ups that occasionally show up inside treasure chests. Treasure chests can contain useful items including the aforementioned 1-Ups, as well as various treasures for extra points and Cans of Beans that enable "fart flight."


  • Left/Right Keys: Move left/right
  • Space Bar: Jump
  • Down (when in the air): Puke Attack (works like a Ground Pound attack)
  • Up: Fart Fly (when you have a Can of Beans)


  • Crab: Very simple enemy. Just runs back and forth.
  • Hermit Crab: Same as a normal Crab but runs faster.
  • Octopus: Occasionally jumps out from a pit as it tries to collide with the player.
  • Snake: Same as the Crab but stops moving for a few seconds whenever it reaches the edge of a platform.
  • Spider: Hangs from the ceiling and dangles up and down over a specific spot.
  • Bat: Flies back and forth in the air.
  • Skeleton: Same as a Crab, but performs a melee attack with his sword if Puke gets close to him.
  • Squid: Same as the Octopus, but also spits ink at Puke.
  • Cannon: Fires giant cannonballs. It's indestructible.
  • Golden Tiki: Only moves when Puke is near it.
  • Ground Spike: A spike that occasionally pops up from the ground. Puke Attacking it will hurt Puke for obvious reasons.
  • Pillar Crusher: Occasionally drops from the ceiling in an attempt to crush Puke.


  • Level 1: A beach level where the only hazards are a few pits of water, which are deadly to Puke since he can't swim. Crabs and Hermit Crabs appear here.
  • Level 2: A jungle level which features larger pits and is the first level to feature moving platforms. Crabs return in this level, and Octopi also appear.
  • Level 3: A cave level with more elaborate moving platform setups and lava pits as hazards. Snakes, Spiders, and Bats appear here.
  • Level 4: A second cave level that has all the same enemies and hazards as Level 3, along with two sections with floating platforms that fall when stepped on.
  • Level 5: A pirate ship level that has pits of water as well as trapdoors in some parts of the floor. Octopi, Squids, and Skeletons appear here.
  • Level 6: A second pirate ship level that has all the same enemies and hazards as Level 5, but also features Cannons.
  • Level 7: A temple level with especially long moving platform sections, as well as two sections with pillar-like platforms that collapse when stepped on. Death spikes are the hazards in this level. Golden Tikis, Ground Spikes, and Pillar Crushers appear here.
  • Level 8: The last level. A second temple level that has all the same enemies and hazards as Level 7, with a few extra pillar platform sections.